My sister recently texted me asking for Halloween costume ideas.
Here's part 2 of our textual escapades.
Me: Be a sexy firelady.
Birdie: Sexy Firelady? Veto. I don't think I am he sexy costume type.
Me: Well that eliminates about 87% of available costumes. An additional 10% are my crazy ideas and you have vetoed them as well. Out of the remaining 3% of costume ideas, I'm sure you will find not less than 2.8889% generally displeasing. You are difficult.
Birdie: I'm sorry! Some guy at work told me I should be the little mermaid, probably because my hair was down today.
Me: No. Not unless you're going to wear a bikini top. And may I remind you it is October.
Birdie: It was vetoed for the reason that I do not want to wear just a bra on Halloween.
Me: I support that decision.
Birdie: Beekeeper: good costume for Zack? He says no.
Me: Would you be his sexy bee?
Birdie: Why would I be his sexy bee?
Me: Because you have a vagina. If you have lady parts your costume has to be sexy. Unless you're a minor or as spending Halloween in the company of minors, in which case it is inappropriate.
Birdie: Fine. I could get yellow booty shorts and a low cut tank top and make stripes on them. Bee costumes are lame but beekeeper costumes are funny.
Me: Or you could be the beekeeper and Zack could be your sexy bee. You can dodge the vagina rule if the dude in the couple dresses sexy. It really is the truth. I did not just make these things up while sitting on my couch in my underpants watching batman.
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