Semi-invited.

 I have been invited to more weddings in the past year than I had been invited to in my whole life.  It’s a happy predicament to be in—seeing your friends find and celebrate love and commitment should never be anything but joyous.

I’m far from an etiquette maven, and in general am not too concerned over the fiddly rules of politeness.  If you’re nice to me and I’m nice to you and nobody’s toes are getting stepped on, I’m not going to get flustered about the number of forks on the table or that your kid called me Anna instead of Miss Ladypants.* 

But I’ve been the recipient of some non-standard invites that makes me wonder why an invitation was extended at all:

Ceremony-only or Reception-only invitations.

I see why, from a bride’s perspective, it’s a convenient way to invite everyone who wants to come without having to make the sacrifices that come with large guest lists (venue size, general intimacy, cost, entertainment, lodging, transportation).  But as a guest, I wonder why I’m welcome at one and not the other. 

Being excluded from the reception says that I’m there to help fill the church.

Being excluded from the ceremony says I’m not close enough to you to share in the moment, but can I please keep your Great Aunt Mildred (GAM) company so she doesn’t hit the DJ with her cane for playing the rap music and yell about why is there no goddamned sugar free dessert option, don’t you know she has diabetes?!

I mean, I’d be glad to distract your GAM from all the things going on that she hates for six hours.  I’d offer to find her some sugar-free jello (GAMs looooooove sugar-free jello).  But don’t ask me to do it unless I also get to see you walk down that aisle. **

*not my real last name.

** Unless your venue is really really small and only immediate family can fit, and all the other guests are similarly excluded.  Or if I work with you and you feel obligated to invite the whole office, but you don’t really want any of us there.  If you do that, chances are none of us will show up, except weird Lou, who we will send as an ambassador to give you the gift we all chipped in on.  Or if you elope then have the reception at a later date.  Or if you discuss it with me beforehand, and in return for GAMsitting, you will be my slave for a day and make me cornmuffins.

GAM.